Two Years Ago (Originally Written on December 31, 2014)

Two years ago, December 30, 2012, I spent my last night ever with my thirteen year old son. We watched The Avengers. We hung out as a family. We had no idea what the next morning would bring.
Nolan said prayers with his dad before saying goodnight to me. He was tired. He kissed me goodnight and told me he loved me. I watched him walk down the hallway for the last time. The rest of us would stay up for another hour or maybe two before going to bed. It was Christmas break which meant late nights and no routine.
Over and over I imagine the what ifs. If only Nolan's heart had stopped beating while we were still up together, perhaps an ambulance could have arrived in time to save him. Instead his heart stopped sometime while he and the rest of us were asleep.