Sometimes I think it is wrong to feel ok. Sometimes I think it is wrong to smile.
Saying it is better is like saying it is ok that Nolan is gone.
Getting used to it is like getting used to living without a heart, a brain, lungs, limbs, and more.
Life without my son is never going to be ok. Never. Yet I must live on. I must keep on.
When I see his beautiful smile, his face lit up, his zest for life in photos, it is a reminder of what is lost.
I'm grateful for my photographs of him, but they just emphasize the horror of our loss.
He should be here. We should not be here without him. He should be here.
Yes, two years later and I am still a broken record. I still have a broken heart.
Not all broken hearts mend.
The broken heart of a bereaved mother is broken forever.
So it shouldn't be better and it really can't be.
the words "I'm sorry" just feel cold. I don't know what to say or what to do. I hurt SO much inside for you. I can't even express it. It doesn't make sense. I just can't understand, no matter how hard I try. The concept of "this happened for a reason" doesn't even make sense. I have never understood that phrase. Well, as far as when it comes to the loss of a family member. I think of you often and I wish there was a way to take even a little bit of the pain away. :(
ReplyDeleteSomehow I am just now seeing you comment on this. Thank you for the kinds words. (not sure if you will see this response!)
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