i know people mean well....

Sometimes when people try to show me that care with platitudes and such, I wonder if they truly can understand the horror that I'm living.  Tonight, I'm driving down the street after Logan's soccer practice and I was suddenly struck with the memories of that horrible morning which then proceeded to make me feel physically ill.  I want to vomit when I think of that morning.  I want to crawl under my blankets and never come out.  I want to drive and drive and never turn back.  I want to scream at every parent who still has all their children.  I want to cry non stop.  In thirty years, if I'm still alive, I will be just as horrified that this happened.