Our first without you my sweet boy..... last Halloween, we did a Lord of the rings theme, you were Gollum. The weather was beautiful and you ran barefoot through the neighborhood in true Gollum fashion.there was such joy and freedom in you and your siblings that night. I remember feeling so truly happy and blessed.
Tonight was difficult mentally, but I was so busy chasing after Ella and watching the others run with that same joyful spirit that I couldn't help but find moments of happiness.
I read a post from a woman who lost her child twenty years ago, she sometimes feels like "was he ever really here?" I'm scared of those days when it has been so long since I've seen you that I can feel like that.....
I miss you like hell Nolan. I would give anything for a sign from you.
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