more on anxiety

I have a constant feeling of anxiety these days & I honestly just want to feel NORMAL again... and by normal, I mean as normal as a mom who lost her son can feel.  I want to be able to just physically feel OK.  Today's been rough.  Ella is sick with a  fever.  And it's making me exhausted.  Poor girl.  And you add the fear I feel on top because last year Nolan had both a throw up bug and a fever bug within a month of each other and then he died.  So now here is ella.... so i'm scared.  and tired.  it sucks.  i'm sure the fear doesn't help my anxiety.  and I had to drive to Lenexa twice today and seriously, not sure why but driving seriously makes me anxious now.  almost everything does though.... I rarely feel relaxed.  Maybe when I am in bed and it is quiet.  That's about it.  Even then, I worry.