The human body is a complicated thing. And it's a scary thing because something can seem so harmless yet still kill you.
Or there are those things that can be SO many things: chest pains can be stress, heartburn, imagined, or something fatal. Tummy aches can be just about anything.
I've always been a hypochondriac, so I never wanted my children to worry as much as I do. When they would tell me things were bugging them, i'd worry, but I would tell them it was nothing. With four children with asthma, we were often at the doctor (were/are). If their chest hurt, it usually was an asthma thing. Chest is such a big area. Is it chest? is it heart? is it lungs?
After Nolan's death due to a heart condition called Viral Myocarditis, the other four children had complete, thorough check-ups. We took them to heart specialists. Two of them wore monitors. One in particular has said off and on since Nolan's death that his heart hurts. Another says EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, "do you think my heart is going to be ok?"
We have had them checked. Everything looked fine.
The problem is that something like viral myocarditis isn't a lifelong condition. It can come on from a virus, suddenly, and you can be dead in a week with ZERO warning. Or the warnings are so vague that they could be the flu, asthma, anything.
So I am filled with fear CONSTANT FEAR that it's going to happen to another one of my children.
My second son just told me his chest is hurting and it has been. He is the one who seems to think something is wrong constantly. I am sure it's nothing, but then again.... I could be wrong. And my mistakes can be fatal.
This sucks.
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