Christmas Time Again

well, we made it through the second Halloween without you.  how do we do it?  how do we make it?  i'm not sure other than we have to.

This week will be Thanksgiving number two without you. 

And we begin the decorating for Christmas this week.  Christmas and your birthday, my favorite times of year.  It feels so bittersweet without you.  Is it wrong that I still love this time of year?  I'm sure it is because I have the other children to keep the excitement and joy going for me.  I am sure it will get harder the closer we get to Christmas.  Then after Christmas is even more tough because it leads to the day of your death, December 31, 2012. 

I hate those words "the day of your death."  They just sounds F...ed up. 

I miss you so much.

The Second Thanksgiving, But Another First

Next week will be my second Thanksgiving without my son.  Nolan loved Thanksgiving because he loved to see his family.  He loved to have the big turkey leg.  He loved mashed potatoes and dinner rolls and pumpkin pie.  Grandma always made plenty of pumpkin pie because she knew how much he loved it. 

Most of our Thanksgivings since becoming parents have been at my sister's home.  Last year, for some reason, it was at my mom's house instead.  I'm unsure if it was in attempt to lessen our sorrow or what by making it different. 

This year it returns to my sister's house.  Not only will it be the first Thanksgiving at her house since Nolan's death, it will be my first time PERIOD at her house since his death.  All I will think of is his presence and how it is missing. 

Why does he have to be gone? 

Why?

THANKSGIVING 2012

THANKSGIVING 2011

GRANDMA'S HOUSE