I miss you so much. Yet, I don't allow myself to think of you as much as I should. I'm sorry. I have become the queen of distraction. Sometimes it hurts so bad when I think of the fact that this is real. I try to deaden the pain with projects and food and time with friends and wine and shopping and tv and computer and more of the same. None of it brings you back though. None of it helps me to miss you any less. It just keeps me numb. I love you.
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