everything takes such an effort now

cooking is so draining.  I hate going in my kitchen.  dishes, ugh, always piled high in my sink.  I hate them.  I never make dessert.  I usually buy ice cream or something already made.  i'm lazy.

budgeting hasn't happened since Nolan's death.  we have spent so much money without paying attention.  time to start meal planning again. 

paying bills.  who can remember?  oh yeah, they are about to shut it off.... oops.  I better pay.

even reading books.  I love to read.  I haven't read a book since before chirstmas.  me.... over two months, no book. 

showering.  shaving legs.  effort.  ugh.

remembering anything. 

getting out of bed. 

being nice sometimes.  dealing with drama.  caring. 

reading to my kids.  I never do that anymore.  that makes me feel like a bigger failure than any of the other stuff.