I was thinking today, once again, about the weight of grief.  It's exhausting with its heaviness.  You don't always realize it is there.  Sometimes you actually feel joyful about something, but maybe it's that guilt then that weighs on you.  How can you feel joy when your son died?

I'm often so tired.  And I'm wondering if this is why.

Christmas Eve

Two years ago, I had five living children in a house too small for their growing bodies.  There was rowdy wrestling, loud boys laughing, happiness. 

Christmas Eve was a lovely evening at mass then home to get ready for bed for what would be our final Christmas as a complete family.  We had no idea. 

How could we have known?

Sharing Too Much or Saying Too Much

I have been sharing too much lately. Sharing more of my sorrow than I really should.  Even sharing more of my opinions about other stuff.  I'm letting my exhaustion and bitterness rule my mouth (and fingers).