my children and their mortality

my poor kids have had such a rough lesson in mortality this year....

first, and the worst, was losing Nolan a little over 8 months ago.  that was & continues to be a horrible nightmare for all of us.  he was only 13.  he went to bed healthy.  he didn't wake up.  the shock of that morning for all of us, but especially my other children, is awful.  I think about their security that they felt before that, the safety of our own home... shattered.

second, about a month ago, we lost our dog willie.  losing a pet should really be the first death a kid should have to deal with.  not losing a brother.  but we lost willie at the age of 10 to an enlarged heart.  he was deteriorating rapidly, we knew he was dying.  so there was no "shock" this time.  but it affected the kids horribly.  I think their sadness was magnified after losing Nolan.  Liam was crying so hard saying "why us?"  my sweet boys were bawling about as hard as they did when Nolan died.  I was crying too just knowing the pain they were feeling.  Ciara went to bed that night afraid to go to sleep again.

third, yesterday, we lost nana.  Nana is Kathleen Connors, Patrick's mom.  so the children just lost their grandmother that they spent a week with only 2 months ago in florida.  they didn't see her often, but they love her and she is a part of them.  again, tears from liam and logan.  Ciara doesn't really cry.  i'm not sure why.  liam asked why we had to lose all of them so soon.  why all within the last 8 months.  I tell him I do not know.  nana was one of those active adults who seemed to be in great health, great shape.  her mother lived to be 100 and we fully expected the same from nana.  so this came as a complete shock.

I feel like my children have lost so much innocence this year.  I'm so sad for them.