it is Saturday

i went to target today....even target makes me sad.  how many hundreds of times have i taken Nolan to target with me?   the recent memories make me sad because ....

 Nolan had recently purchased himself a chameleon which he named rango.  boy, did he love that creature!   for his 13th birthday, all he wanted was a bigger habitat for him.  he took such good care of him.  he bought crickets from petsmart to feed him.  I'd let him walk to petsmart to buy crickets...giving him some freedom as he was growing up,growing so responsible.  he loved petsmart, he asked the employees how old he'd have to be to get a job there.  other times, I'd drop Nolan at petsmart while i shopped target.  he'd buy his crickets then meet me at target...I'd see his lanky boy body walking toward me,I'd always feel a bit of relief when i saw him.  it was hard giving him that bit of freedom, but it was good for him and he liked it.   i looked down the aisle today at target thinking Nolan should be there, walking toward me with his bag of crickets.