Liam without Nolan

my sweet Liam.... before this tragedy, I worried a lot about Liam being in Nolan' s shadow. now I worry exponentially more.

Liam and Nolan......for eleven years, the two names have been said together more often than not.  the two boys were together more often than not.  Liam and Nolan, wrestling....climbing trees.... laughing at some silly boy humor....making up some game....digging holes in the back yard....playing catch....playing soccer...playing ghost....playing don't touch the ground.....swimming....walking in the neighborhood....building with legos....drawing side by side....watching movies....for years, sleeping in the same bed... teasing each other....standing up for each other....fighting each other....being best friends without even realizing it.

Liam lost something so precious.  we all did, of course.  but Liam and Nolan had a really special life together.  I look at Liam and catch glimpses of sadness.  he is going to be sad.  that is natural.  I just wonder how his sorrow will change who he is.

Liam has said several really neat things about Nolan being in heaven, positive ways to look at things.  I have been really proud of him for talking about it.

I also worry because he found Nolan....I know I cannot get the images of that dreadful morning out of my head.  I hope he can.  he did say to me one day that he doesn't picture Nolan like he found him, but like he always looked.

I pray that Liam somehow comes out of this stronger.  I pray that he and Logan form special bonds.  I pray that he and ciara enjoy each other more.  I pray that my sadness doesn't shadow his life.I pray he be joyful in life. I pray that Nolan will watch over Liam in a special way from heaven.