how do you reconcile so much pain, so much unnecessary heartbreak, so much lost with a loving God?my faith is shaken, thrown in a blender on high no lid on it shaken... I'll be honest, leading up to this horrific day, my faith was already shaky. so much didn't make sense to me before Nolan died, yes BEFORE! now what. do you think this has made me stronger in my faith?
first and foremost, my son was stolen from me in the middle of the night or early in the morning with no FREAKING warning. none!!!!! he's 13!!!!!! how the hell can that make sense???????? the pain is unbearable.
and the unnecessary fear it has caused my other children, especially ciara, though I'm sure they are all scared, how can that serve a purpose???? how can a nine year old girl fear falling asleep every single night be right? how can all the tummy ache she is having be part of a plan?
now my faith in people is another story altogether. the amazing love of these people, some people I have never met is just something else. people are truly good.
I would like to have faith again....
...i will pray that you do (and get some book recommendations from my sister)
ReplyDeletefor what it's worth (and i KNOW you're going to tell me to take my faith talk and shut up...trust me!), I heard a story on NPR that tragedies can shake faith, cause temporary separateness from faith, but the faithful come back stronger. I believe you will; I know your faith has been shaken at times, but I also have seen your core, your spirit and your love.
i will pray