escapism

is it wrong for me to try to escape the pain?  lots of tv, too much wine, mindless hours on pinterest, distractions, if I'm watching the shenanigans of gus and Shawn who make me laugh,then the thoughts of how much i miss my son are temporarily pushed aside...if I'm on m my second glass of wine,the happy buzzy warm feelings place a shade over my sharp pain...  browsing beautiful works of art on pinterest keeps my mind on the beauty in the world... playing a game of words with friends is a challenging way to virtually play with my friends....looking up funny pins about doctor who, distracting... reading a good novel takes me to a fictional world where my sadness doesn't exist...

i feel the sadness, the pain,many times per day...the escapism isn't constant...even if I escape all the time, i wouldn't. i need to spend time with Nolan each day.  i need to think about what i miss.  i need to remember him....and right now, that is so painful....