that's what i am on this blog...i wallow in my sorrow. i have read a couple other blogs by bereaved parents who sound so much better than i do.actually saying something to inspire on their page. today, I'm thinking how i haven't been allowed an entire day in bed...boy that would be nice... that isn't very inspirational. no,i don't think i have it in me to inspire anyone.
last night,the kids and i watched a couple episodes of doctor who until about 11:30pm. we have been watching too much tv. pre-traumatic life changing event, i would have had them in bed and watched something by myself afterward.... Nolan might have come out and said"you know, I'm the oldest,can't i stay up too?" i usually said no. why? sometimes I would let him,but mostly i just didn't want to hear the others complain. i know none of us are sleeping well and now, well,it's better being snuggled up with them on the couch watching tv than watching alone. i know we should be reading or playing a game. i know our sleep habits need to get better. i miss the good quality times...the days when the tv was only on in our house for Friday night movie night.
we have our co-op today...I'm going be so tired. so will the kids... next year co-op is going to be twice a week, longer days...I'm not looking forward to that
My heart aches for you! I just want to wrap you in a big hug and make everything okay but I know that is not possible. Please know that I continue to think of you daily.
ReplyDeleteI am reading this post because you are a mom in pain, and I am a mom who has known pain-not the same kind-but as moms we need to support each other. I come to read so that I can keep you in my thoughts-inspiration is not necessary-but I do find inspiration nonetheless in your candor, in your ability to speak the truth, and your ability to feel your feelings-not just shove them down with some platitudes. I hope that you can consider being gentle with your self-talk, but as a mom, I find it hard to do even when I am not in a crisis situation. What I remember about my mom growing up were her hugs, her closeness- not necessarily her happy face- I don't even remember if she had one-there were 5 of us, and one had a severe disability. What I do remember was her hand on my head, and my head on her lap.
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