sometimes it is hard to get out of bed

I'm lying here,awake,but in bed...getting out of bed takes so much energy these days.  i could lie here in bed, awake,all day.  everything takes so much more energy.  cooking, cleaning,breathing.  i have a sink that desperately needs me to have some energy as it sits full of dishes... meals are still coming, thankfully...not every day, but frequently.  that helps.  i haven't even written thank you cards....though part of that is i lost the book that listed who gave what... maybe i will find it when my emotional state can handle writing all those notes.  it's time to do taxes and i don't have the energy for that....plus who knows what i have done with our documents...

that is one thing i don't know if friends and family really get about bereaved parents, just the mental dysfunction that is happening.  not only do i have zero energy, but i can't focus,i can't remember important things,my grief clouds every single thing that goes on in my brain... i don't feel like i can be counted on for much of anything right now... sometimes i will be walking along in a somewhat "normal" state and then i will just be suddenly overwhelmed with such sorrow that i can't take another step.  whatever i was about to do forgotten....