busy

we have had a busy couple of days....Nolan floats in and out of my thoughts when I'm so busy.  Friday i spent most of the day fighting tears. i was at co-op and that makes me cry pretty much every week, some weeks are worse, this was worse...

then Saturday rolled around and i was so busy and distracted that i think i only teared up twice.

every day is just different.  i feel the immense heartache and pain constantly, but some days i am busy with things that actually allow me to enjoy life.   it is often up and down like a roller coaster because enjoying myself one day results in overwhelming feelings of guilt and anger and sadness the next....

Nolan should have been there yesterday.... i have been robbed