I have joined several grief groups on facebook. I have friended a few of the ladies I have come into contact with as well. What I am seeing is that we are all so different about how we handle things. There is one mother who lost her son a couple months before I did. She is constantly sad and saying she hopes she dies soon. She has other children, but they are grown. I think that is a big part of it. She has no children at home to help her through this. At first I thought that merely having other children would be such a help, but now I am seeing if they aren't at home, they dont' really pull you forward. I would love to just stay in bed every day, but I can't. I'm thankful for my children.
I sometimes question God now... is there a God? If so, why does this stuff happen?
Some people have said that Ella was God's plan because He knew what was going to happen. So He gave her to me to help me through this. Yet, what about these other parents? Don't they need something? There's no reason for any of this. I don't see it as a part of a plan. If it is, I am merely being punished.
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