It has been 16 months, I think. Funny how time has become so confusing to me. I think I'm calculating this nightmare correctly. 16 months since my beautiful son died. 16 months since my world changed forever.
My world is still stopped.
I now have two lives. One before Nolan's death when life was good and normal and happy and filled with ordinary pain and suffering and stress and things. And the second life is post 12/31/12. Post-Nolan. How is it I lived 30 years without him before his birth, but living without him the past 16 months is unbearable. Post-Nolan life is confusing, vague, nightmarish, void, bitter, painful.
I don't know you but I came across your blog when I was reading the "Cheerleader" blog post that you commented on. I just want you to know that I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability a lot. I can't imagine the pain and suffering you are going through. I lost my dad December 17th so know that I am grieving alongside you. I don't doubt that God showed me your blog for a reason. Know that no matter how mad at God you are, he is still right in your midst and His loving presence will never leave you. I pray you begin to feel His presence again. I'm sorry if reaching out to you seems out of line. I just feel connected because of the grief I also feel. Take care.
ReplyDeleteYour comment is so comforting Jennifer Jordan. Knowing there are people out there like you who connect to me and my loss somehow helps me. Thank you.
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