Sunday, October 13, 2013
I'm sorry Nolan
I'm sorry for being so negative Nolan. It's so hard to be cheerful, happy. I know that is what you'd want. You would want us to be happy. But it is so hard without you. I know you would not like to see my anger at God, my anger at life. I'm sorry. I don't want to be angry. I just can't help it
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Yes, this. I am upset with my family for being upset with me for posting a picture of me and my grandpa at the nursing home, which was a special day for me. Then I got upset b/c nobody was with him when he died and they should have taken shifts or something and if i had known he was dying just a few hours after i told him it was okay to let go and then left the nursing home, i would have stayed. i am mad at myself and upset with my family. and yes, i know this is 1/10th of what you are feeling and so i can't imagine, friend. and i am sorry. and i know my grandpa would not want me to be angry, either, but you have to work through it. you will be sunny and happier someday. i'm so sorry for your constant pain.
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