well, honestly, it's going to be a tough life for me, period.
but already, feeling extra emotional lately... we have entered what has always been my favorite time of year.... especially since becoming a mom. from now through new years has always been so busy, so crazy, and so joyous to me.
it was rotten timing too that Nolan's headstone arrived... that started the whirlwind of extra emotions... I feel like I have been crying ever since....
fall leaves, fall pictures iwht the kids....
Halloween... always so much fun for us as a family... even at age 12 last year, Nolan spent Halloween with us, not friends.
thanksgiving.... family
then of course, December... my favorite month of the year... love the entire Christmas season.... everything about it will now be without Nolan... from decorating the tree, to baking cookies, Nolan's letter to santa (always so sweet and thoughtful)....
and Nolan and I's shared birthday.... that was ours. that was special. our day.
and now the anniversary of his death is in my favorite month... what the hell?
we've never done a lot to celebrate new years eve... though the kids were getting old enough that they looked forward to it. now? never can I celebrate that day ever again.
and then from what I have heard, it seems unimaginable, but supposedly the 2nd year without my child will be even worse.....
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