myocarditis

what happened to Nolan is not as rare as it sounds and not as rare as it should be.  I recently joined a facebook group devoted to myocarditis.  it is so scary how often this happens.  sometimes people survive.  somehow they figure out something is wrong before it is too late.  but most of the stories I have read have been almost identical to Nolan's.  so many parents had no warning, just like me. 

I go to bed scared every night.  scared of my children, my spouse, myself dying... and now I see it's not so farfetched.  I met a woman on this group who had two children get myocarditis and one died and the other had a heart transplant....  TWO CHILDREN IN THE SAME FAMILY HAD IT!!!!    yes, i'm scared.  it makes me want to become like Monk from that tv show and make the kids crazy about washing their hands and germs....  I've always been so laid back about illness because I've always been told that it helps to develop immunity if they catch what is going around.... the ones who are sanitizing everything aren't building that immunity.  geesh.  I just dont' know if I can change to that person.  but I need to. 

Nolan's wasn't for sure viral.  but it was myocarditis.  and it can be various things.  but my dr did seem to think since we had been sick that it was probably viral.  it just hit him differently.  everyone I know was hit hard by bugs this year.... It was one of those years.... yet no one else had a child die because of it....

i'm scared.  and I don't know how I will ever rest easy again.