at this point, there are none.... there are tears every day. some days, though, i make it the whole day without one of my extremely big losing it moments... those usually happen a couple times a day or at least once a day.... but i have had, oh, maybe 2 since that horrible, horrible day 6 weeks ago, where i managed to just shed normal tears. but there hasn't been a day without tears. i don't think there ever will, to be honest. there will always be moments through the day that will make me think of what should have been, could have been.... but what isn't... and yes, there will be tears. tears for my handsome son who should be growing into a handome man. he's not here. and that is the most horrible thing in the world.
You know I don't know; I can't know; I can't imagine.
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't know if my sister has had a day without tears of some kind. I know there have been days of downright sobbing and barely functioning.
I know every member of my family has moments that just stop us in our tracks. I was told by my counselor that it takes a year for all of the things in our head to come out and 'be there'. I remember your comment about the doctor saying 6 months for grief (I REALLY hope she meant just downright horrible grief, because on some level there is ALWAYS a hole). A year. I wonder. I wonder if next November and December and the years and years after if we won't still have moments and comments and feelings; I think we will. I think we always will.
Love you