the joys of being a child

today the three middles or three oldest depending how you look at it have friends over.  we met at Mass for Ash Wednesday.  the three extra kiddos rode home with us.  first we stopped by sonic for fish sandwiches for lunch.  now children are playing happily.  there is just a simple joy in spending the day playing with your friend.

since Nolan's death,the kids have remained fairly busy with friends which is a blessing.  they need it.  they need to be happy kids.

if only ciara had a friend to see right up until she falls asleep....then perhaps every single bedtime she wouldn't be asking if she's going die in her sleep that night or if someone else in our family is going to.  every night.  several times each night.  it is horrible.

i fear, truly fear that we may be looking at this genetic heart condition that has some big word....but it essentially leads to enlarged hearts, arrhythmia,shortness of breath.... it causes those expected deaths on the basketball court, those we hear about, but it also strikes in your sleep.  the reason i think we will find out that this is it be cause of my own health..... now i need to call myself a cardiologist.... our insurance is barely insurance....so not looking forward to more bills.

in the meanwhile today my kids feel some happiness which brings me a little happiness as well