listen more that last day, December 30, 2012.....
play a game with the kids like apples to Apple's....
smile more that day...
have a long meaningful conversation with Nolan....
turn off the freaking tv....
put away my dang kindle and phone....
make him sleep with us....
get up earlier and check on him...
at the hospital,after his death,my insides were screaming to climb on that gurney and hold my son in my arms...for some reason, i was trying stay in control...so i didn't. why? why did i need to stay in control? my son had just died. no one expected me to be in control. why didn't i follow my heart and hold my son???? why?
listen more that last day, December 30, 2012.....
because, friend, you are human. and all you can do is do things a tiny bit differently. you are a terrific mother. you could not have possibly known. but now if one of the kids wants to talk, you are going to put down the dishes and say "forget the housework" and you are going to make time for them. you know every mother out there has done the same things, asked the same questions. you could not have known. if any one of us lost a child right now we would ask the same things. you are not alone in your grief. we all love you so much.
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